Went shopping with The Darkness yesterday. Apparently she required new heavyweight clothing on account of impending winter. I can only assume that the waxed and woolen of previous years has in some way broken down beyond repair. I didn't mind too much because, for my part, I wanted to buy a container for our teaspoons, which keep falling on the floor because of holes in our cutlery holder. Is there a principle of gender difference to be abstracted from this? No there isn't.

As we emerged from a packed tube, I found myself once again comparing the contemporary ritual of consumption to the former one of church-going. Just because a thought is less than original, doesn't make it less than true; quite the opposite. 

The comparison felt more appropriate than ever because Joe Public looked so depressed; as if he'd rather be anywhere else; as if, in fact, he was on his way to church.Whether religious or materialistic, I'm no fan of this bloody-minded fundamentalism that flies in the face of evidence to the contrary and, worse still, any conception of temperance. Anyone who fears for the future of capitalism hasn't lately been shopping on a West End Saturday.

Apparently, however, capitalism is doomed. It must be true, because in the last month I've heard as much from a film producer, a musician and a poet. They're surely the best people to turn to for a smart take on the state of the City.

What is it about the global economic downturn that grants everyone an opinion and the confidence to air it even as they admit they don't know what they're talking about?Over the last few weeks I've heard so many people begin a sentence with, 'Obviously, I don't understand this stuff, but ...' before launching into a shaky diatribe built from rumour, Robert Peston, GCSE geography and an article they came across the only time they ever read The Economist (most likely on a particularly bored plane journey). What's that about? Surely, if you begin a sentence, 'Obviously, I don't understand this stuff', that's where the sentence should also end.

Now, obviously I don't understand this stuff, but it seems to me that 'The Credit Crunch' was written by the same people who wrote 'The Core', that millennial B Movie starring Hilary Swank. The world had stopped spinning on its axis. Everyone was going to die. The planet had to be restarted with a nuclear explosion detonated by the man who'd caused the problem in the first place. Oh the irony! Said man was killed in act two, but the military-industrial complex that had supported him remained untouched .... You see! Do you feel me? Can I get a witness? Etc ...

As for our shopping trip, the Darkness bought several seasonal items, but I failed to find a single appropriate container for teaspoons. I did, however, spot a family on the escalator who were all wearing Rooney England shirts - three of them all in a row. For all my doubts about going to church, doing shopping or even going to the football, there is part of me that envies such enthusiasm for joining.